Its September, My Last Year Begins

I looked at the date on my phone today and it read 09/01/2011. Holy shit, its September already, was my first thought. I will be starting my last year of college in less than a week. I can't believe it. It feels so good, exciting, annoying, and scary all at the same time!

Good because everything I do this year will be the last time I have to do them. My last fall semester, my last spring semester. While these could be sad things, right now they just sound good. I've been in college for four years already because of transferring and this last year is long overdue.

Exciting because I have some pretty sweet things lined up for this year. I'm producing the annual Concert for a Cure that will be on October 13th. I've had so much so far just booking the bands, helping make the poster and just thinking about how fun it will be! I've been interviewing for some on-campus jobs so a new job for the school year is on the horizon. Keep your fingers crossed for me! Also, I have this awesome opportunity to manage some bands and get them booked at the New Moon Cafe here in Oshkosh. Just sent off the email to confirm the date I want so I'll keep ya updated on that. This whole concert thing just might be a career path for me...

Annoying because I basically have to stick around for a whole 'nother year for like 6 classes, but of course they can't be taken in one semester. On a very big level, I'm actually really sick of college and the way people are in college. This shouldn't be news to anyone here in Oshkosh, but I'm not really close with anybody save for Ben and a couple other people. I am so ready to start my life in a city far far away from here. Can't wait to start that chapter of my life.

Lastly, its scary because graduating means that I will officially be a "grown-up." I'll have to start paying back loans, having a full-time job and making big life decisions. Ben and I have a life to start together that scares the shit out of me, but makes me insanely excited all at the same time. I already worry about money constantly and thats not going to subside any time soon. There are a lot of looming worries on the horizon, but I am prepared to take them as they come. I guess I'm just scared of things not working out.

But more than anything, this year just makes me think about how happy I am. I'm happy with how much I've grown over the past four years, I'm happy with the person I've become. I managed to quit smoking, start living a healthier lifestyle, met the guy of my dreams (and flushed the bad ones I've had down the toilet), grown a backbone, which in turn has helped me cleanse my life of the negative people I let bring me down. I've gotten to do some amazing things like have an internship at a legit news station, crewed a Skillet concert, worked on tons of TV shows, won some awards for a feature radio piece, now producing some concerts on my own, and I've managed to fall in love with the man of my dreams...

So no matter how annoyed, excited, or scared I get, I can take comfort in knowing that I've followed my heart to an amazing man and amazing career opportunities. I can only hope that you all out there can know the hope and happiness I feel. So to all you college seniors out there this year--good luck in your future endeavors, and I feel for you. And to Ben: I pray this year comes and goes swiftly so we can start our new lives together. Love you and rock on.