Pretty In Pink is Pretty Stupid.

Okay, I just need to vent. I just watched Pretty In Pink for the first time in a while, and holy shit does that movie actually suck! It was never my favorite brat pack flick and I always thought it was bunk that Duckie didn't get the girl, but WOW does it actually suck. Not only does Andie ending up with Blane suck as an ending, but their "love" is totally unjustified and non-existent. The venting shall commence:

First off, the way they get together in the first place is absolutely ridiculous. Their first date is a total sham, proving nothing except that they have nothing in common. And oh no, this is not a case of we-come-from-different-social-standings-but-we-still-can-make-it-work, oh no. They literally have not a single thing in common. Blane brings her to a party with his friends because its what he likes to do and they are assholes to Andie and she doesn't have a single second of fun. Well then Andie takes Blane to a punk club because its what she likes to do, but aside from Duckie being an asshole too, Blane doesn't have any fun either. So what should they do about it? Make out apparently. We have nothing in common? Oh well, we have this weird attraction to each other so let's just make out. And this somehow means that Andie loves Blane afterwards...

Next, their version of "dating" is obsurd. Blane and Andie have their second "date" in a barn of Blane's country club where no one can see them. Not only is he hiding her away in embarrassment, but he keeps talking about how "this is going to happen" and "I want this to happen." Did he ever stop to think that it was happening? As in they were already supposedly "seeing" each other. That was just him trying to convince himself that he was going to go through with dating her/taking her to prom. What an asshole.

Oh and by the way--Andie is a total bitch who can't see what is right in front of her face. I root for Duckie all the way (especially since she originally ended up with him before they changed the ending) but I'm writing this blog solely to point out the ridiculousness of Andie and Blane. While Blane is hiding Andie away in a barn to make out behind closed doors, Duckie is sulking around just wishing he could have the chance to have Andie on his arm. Just think about how proud Duckie would have been to be with her. If Andie could have just gotten over herself, they could have been so fun together! Anyway, moving on...

Third, Blane is a spineless turd, to put it bluntly. In the very next scene, Andie is trying to call Blane and he ignores her phone call! What an insecure prick. Oh, and us as the audience are supposed to be all "poor Andie" but screw that noise! What did she expect??? What did we expect? The next day Andie confronts him (the only time she ever thinks straight in the entire film) and he totally lies to her face! And then he lets Steff talk shit about her! Not once in this entire film does Blane's character show any kind of heroism in sticking up for Andie.


Now Duckie on the other hand... all Steff had to do is talk 2 seconds of shit about Andie and Duckie was all over him! And might I say that that fight ended with Steff on his back covering his face while the teachers has to pull Duckie off of him. Take that you rich butthole.

And last but not least, we have the finale: prom. Okay, its great and empowering and all that jazz that Andie wants to go to prom to show everyone and show herself--blah, blah, blah but I totally lose all respect for her when she caves at Blane's lame little speech. "I believed in you. You just didn't believe in me." WHAT??!?!?!!?!? She took the time to give him a chance and he's the one who got all worried about his image. Big whoop that he went to prom alone and sat here being all broody! He should feel bad for being the turd that he is. But no, he gets to throw it all on Andie and then she goes running after him for it. Nevermind Duckie showing up and nevermind how happy Andie was to see him. Lets just act like that never happened.

All in all, if you ask me, Andie and Blane had the most pointless, uninspired romance I have ever witnessed on the silver screen. Not once did I feel legit fireworks for their chemistry. The only heart-strings of mine that were pulled were because of Duckie and his lip-syncing, genuinely sweet manner. I'm not one of those pro-Duckie whiners who only thinks Duckie should have won the girl because he was so devoted. No--I think that if anyone should have gotten the girl it should have been Duckie because Blane and Andie suck together. I can guarantee they probably screwed that night and then never spoke again. No wonder this movie ended Molly Ringwald's career. Well until that secret teen life show on ABC Family came along, that is.

Long live the Duck man.

What are your thoughts on the Duckie vs. Blane debate? Rock on peoples.